I was away. I was gone, even though I’ve been here all this while.
My mind was in a dark place. This is something that’s hard to admit on such a public place, but I need to explain myself. I was a victim to anxiety attacks and almost constant phases of unexplainable sadness which left me feeling like I didn’t care about macros. Didn’t care about lifting.
I would open my blog every week, feeling guilty for not intensely typing about fitness.
I would question myself.
Doubt my strength, my capabilities in almost all fields. I would stare at the ceiling feeling absolutely paralysed. I wouldn’t even eat or drink water. But i’m better now. One thing about me is, nothing can hold me down. No matter what, I never give up on myself. So after months and months of mental wars, I can feel myself coming back.
Not the old Priyasha, but a new one. One who is better equipped to take on life. I know I can’t help but feel sad now and then, to feel anxious about things, but I am absolutely certain that i’m coming out of the dark place as a stronger person.
I lifted today. I felt genuinely happy. I studied without getting anxious about IB. Small steps.
And now, as I type, I envision all the goals I have to conquer. The PR’s that are waiting for me, the grades i’m going to get, the lives i’m going to change. Cause i’m not afraid to work for it.
I might’ve been away, but i’m sure as hell coming back.