They never thought of me as a smart person.
I never saw myself as a smart person either. I grew familiar with below average grades and teachers telling me about my ‘potential’. So then I studied. I studied every chance I got, I compromised sleep and lifting for books. And I got decent grades, for the first time in my life.
People don’t think of me as a fit or strong person either. And quite honestly, I agree with them most of the time (believe it or not.) Oh yes, I do have moments where I admire my strength. But it’s rarely genuine. The moment anyone asks me to flex my biceps, the moment someone challenges me to an arm-wrestling match, or when i’m asked to take part in events for sports day in school, I flinch. I don’t believe in my strength so I rarely flex. I’m scared of what they’ll say because somehow I have grown accustomed to doubting myself. But this doubt is what fuels me. Fuels me to become a person who’ll proudly flex, take part in everything without having anxiety eat me alive, beat anyone who just challenges me.
I don’t feel like the fittest or strongest person right now. I have never been able to even prove the strength i’ve gained in the last two years. It’s a bloody struggle, but that’s part of the hustle. Because of this, I’ve decided to aim to become a more balanced ‘fitness person’. Start doing Tabata training for stamina, start working on bodyweight exercises like push ups and pull ups, start focussing on my form more. I have my eyes on the prize, and no one is going to get in my way.
I might cry, I might bleed and I might disappoint myself and other people. I might say i’m going to give up, but I never do.
I never give up, I never let obstacles get the better of me. I’m strong. I just need to start believing it and training for better strength now.
This blog post is for me, and my fellow beast. We’re going to keep the hustle going. We’re going to achieve and persevere and demolish anything
that gets in our way. Your strength is immense.
I believe in us.