When you go through anxiety or periods of depression, you often forget to give yourself credit for things you’ve accomplished. You start to beat yourself up, you start taunting yourself. You’re ugly, you’re weak, you’re dumb and you can’t handle this.
But i’m tired of it. So i’m writing myself a letter. To remind myself of where I started and where I am now.
You were never a fit person before. You were an insecure, fat little child who felt incredibly incapable most of the time. You couldn’t play sports and you’d feel your lungs give out after a minute of running. But you got out of that. You kept hustling till you were no longer the ‘fat little girl’. You lost the weight and you got strong. Yes, I just called you strong. Now you better believe it. You have gone from lifting 15kg in almost all exercises to being able to lift 60kg in some. And you call yourself weak? Sure, there are things that are yet to be accomplished. But I know you. I am you. And I know you’re going to get there. People will call you weak. People will call you ugly. People will taunt and sometimes you join them. But beasts aren’t defined by words of sheep.
This year was tough. But you’ve accomplished so much. You learned that being single doesn’t mean you’re unattractive and unloved. It just means you now have the chance to fall in love with yourself. And you did. You set a goal to get good grades, and you got there. And you’re still working. You got up every single day, no matter the mental state, and you just kept working. You learned all the things that are yet to be improved and I know you’re gonna smash those goals next year. So walk with pride. Give yourself some credit. Life is tough for everyone, but you’re fit enough to survive and thrive.
I suppose it’s weird to be writing myself a letter and even signing off on it, but I feel like reminding yourself of who you are and where you started is very important.