You wake up with that feeling inside you.
Some days it’s a good feeling and some days you want to go back to sleep. Not cause you’re still sleepy. You just don’t know what to do with that feeling.
That feeling that makes you not want to appreciate the sunshine or the fact that you’re alive. You wake up with it sometimes. You don’t feel like getting up, don’t feel like talking about it. Sometimes you can’t talk about it.
But you’re a fighter.
So you get up anyways. You tell your best friend what’s going on, as best as you can. You finish your workout, you force yourself to smile, you listen to happy music even though your heart calls for Lana Del Rey. You’re a fighter.
This post is for everyone out there going through something. Something that’s diagnosed or something that’s unlabelled.
This post is for the people who are trying every damn day. Trying to be happy, trying to lose weight, trying to get strong. People who are actively helping themselves.
I may not know you, but I believe in you.
Now, let’s talk about fitness. It’s been a while. I’m not as lean as I was a while back, when I was cutting, but my lifts have been getting stronger. I think i’m ready to tackle one of my goals for this year: the 30kg squat(only squatting 30 cause I don’t have a squat rack at home). I’ve been working on my push ups as well, since I can’t do them very well. I remember so clearly being teased for being someone who lifts but can’t do push ups or pull ups. Well hey, i’m working on that as well. Won’t rest till I get push ups down.
Use your setbacks to propel you forward.
I was away. I was gone, even though I’ve been here all this while.
My mind was in a dark place. This is something that’s hard to admit on such a public place, but I need to explain myself. I was a victim to anxiety attacks and almost constant phases of unexplainable sadness which left me feeling like I didn’t care about macros. Didn’t care about lifting.
I would open my blog every week, feeling guilty for not intensely typing about fitness.
I would question myself.
Doubt my strength, my capabilities in almost all fields. I would stare at the ceiling feeling absolutely paralysed. I wouldn’t even eat or drink water. But i’m better now. One thing about me is, nothing can hold me down. No matter what, I never give up on myself. So after months and months of mental wars, I can feel myself coming back.
Not the old Priyasha, but a new one. One who is better equipped to take on life. I know I can’t help but feel sad now and then, to feel anxious about things, but I am absolutely certain that i’m coming out of the dark place as a stronger person.
I lifted today. I felt genuinely happy. I studied without getting anxious about IB. Small steps.
And now, as I type, I envision all the goals I have to conquer. The PR’s that are waiting for me, the grades i’m going to get, the lives i’m going to change. Cause i’m not afraid to work for it.
I might’ve been away, but i’m sure as hell coming back.
Inconsistent posts (I apologise).
Nothing about this month has been stable. It started out with me over-studying and over-working in general. There were days where i’d forget to eat because I was so consumed with IB work. That lead to a complete disinterest in lifting, tracking, studying. I was so stressed, my mind shut down. All I wanted to do was watch Dexter and play Assassin’s Creed. For more than a week, I let myself be.
I let myself breathe.
I have always dealt with stress and anxiety problems. Stress is something that can drastically spoil your health. We, as working human beings, tend to overlook any issues relating to mental health.
What do you do when you feel a cold or a fever coming along? You call in sick (school, work, any place that shows you’re a responsible member of society). What do you do when you feel particularly sad one day? You’re anxious, stressed, been feeling depressed lately. Do you call in sick? Or do you push the problem aside, let it collect dust on your metaphorical desk.
I let my mental health take the backseat for a long time. I let it collect dust. But now i’m cleaning up my ‘desk’, facing my demons. Making sure you’re physically well and fit isn’t the only important thing. Mental and physical health act as the foundation of your life and your goals. If you notice, when you have a good mental health, you have a stronger head to take on life with. You conquer goals with ease, and you thrive.
I preach balance, and I’m going to open a new chapter in my life. A new chapter in my blog; one that prioritises mental health and fitness together.
Exciting things are coming, because self-improvement is something I pride myself on.
Never stop evolving
I started this morning off with some deadlifts. For the past 3 weeks i’ve been doing fasted lifts since I have absolutely NO time when I get back home from school. I was a bit reluctant to try it, since I was positive that i’d hit no PR’s on an empty stomach, but I was wrong. My deadlift has gone up to 4 sets of 5-6 with 55kg (getting comfortable with pulling 55 before I attempt 60 again), my overhead press and upright row has gone up to 20kg for 3 sets of 6-8 (used to be 18kg).
If you’re lifting in the AM as well, make sure you fuel yourself with at least 15g of carbs and 20g of protein after for optimum protein synthesis (Just a fancier way of saying you’ll make some gains)
If I can be completely honest, lately I haven’t felt like lifting or tracking. Losing motivation is so common for anyone who’s into fitness. We’re not inspired 24/7, we’re human. But I’ve still been dragging myself away from my bed and over to the weights as much as I can. I just need to refocus myself. Eyes on the prize.
Very sleepy eyes on the prize.
“I am 50kgs.”
“I am 5’4”
“I’m a size 4.”
For the longest time, we’ve been defining ourselves purely based on our appearance. What size we are, how much we weigh, how tall we are. Appearance is one of the most quickly judged things, and in today’s world, weight and size is prioritised.
As a fitness blogger, i’ve gotten used to people defining themselves based on things that are important to society. But what about how strong you are? How compassionate you are? How ambitious you are? Why do these characteristics get hidden in the background?
A person is not his/her weight, height, proportions or body type. I don’t give a damn what shape or size you are, just be unapologetically you.
Don’t lose who you are as a person in the layers of image consciousness and societal expectations.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, the reverse diet is going smoothly. Extra carbs make me feel stronger with my lifts, and i’m still maintaining the same physique. Except I’m trying to go from 50kg to 52kg to help me tackle the 65kg dead lift (eventually). Till then, i’m going to keep inhaling bowls of pasta and tightening my grip on the barbell.
I’m someone who’s obsessed with making an actual difference in the world. Especially changing the goals of the ‘diet industry’. The industry (consisting of websites, magazines and TV shows that promise to help you get your ‘dream body’ in 30 days or less) prioritises making money off of confused people looking to get healthy, instead of actually helping.
How many times have you considered buying a magazine that has the sentence ‘secrets to get slim fast’ written in red? I used to brush through them myself when I didn’t know any better, and I couldn’t help it! The industry aims at people with a sniper, hoping to brainwash them into thinking that avoiding carbs and over-exercising is the only way out. I’m tired of people being misled into a harmful cycle of depriving themselves, and then binging on cake and pizza when they can’t take it anymore.
All i’m saying is, you can eat carbs and still lose weight. You can eat a slice of pizza and not have to feel guilty about it later. You don’t have to spend hours working out. I believe in balance and holding onto your sanity :p Flexible dieting works, trust me.
So next time you hear your friend complaining about his/her impossible diet plan, tell them to take a breath. Being healthy isn’t supposed to be that hard. :p
Hey guys :)
So it hit me that I had been cutting for around 2 months. I was in a constant caloric deficit for so many days (except a few non-tracking days here and there) and my mind never took a break from macros and mentally planning workouts. So I decided that for the rest of the week i’m not even going to think about IIFYM.
Taking a break is so important to regain motivation and to give yourself a breather. Yesterday I let myself indulge on carrot cake, biryani and chicken lasagna. Everything was completely guilt free of course.
I was frustrated a few days ago about wether I even made any progress on this cut. This is cause I am not as lean as I’d hoped. Do I have a six-pack? No. Am I incredibly shredded now? Haha, negative. Am I okay with it? Now I am. This was my first cut with IIFYM and for a person who has no coaching and no trainer, i’ve done well for myself. I got as lean as I could while also truly enjoying my summer break. I’m just going to slowly lean out and slowly reach my goal while also maintaining a balance. Some days I don’t track. Some days I don’t even bother looking at my barbell. But i’m human, i’m healthy and most importantly i’m happy.
I plan on doing another round of cutting before the year ends and going much harder on myself this time around.