Don’t Settle for Mediocrity.

Deep, deep down ask yourself, “Who do you want to be?” Not what, but who. I’m talking about figuring it out for yourselves, ‘What makes you happy?’

You have to think outside the box. That’s what I believe after all. What’s the point of being on this Earth if all you want to be is be liked and avoid trouble?

We have so many rules in life about everything. I say break the rules, not the law, but break the rules.

I remember that after I was finished with my body building career I wanted to do acting, I wanted to be a star in films. Everyone had the same mind that it can’t be done. They said, “Look at this body, you have this huge monstrous body, you’re overly developed.” This doesn’t fit into the movies. But yer, I didn’t listen to all this, that was their rules. I was convinced I could do it.

Then I got the big break, Conan The Barbarian. Trust yourself no matter what anyone else thinks.

And there the directors said, “If we didn’t have Schwarzenegger, we would have to build one.” Then when I did Terminator, “I’ll be back…” One of the most famous lines in the movie history, all because of my crazy accent. It just shows you, you never should listen to those who say you can’t do something.

Don’t be afraid to fail. Anything that I have always attempted, I was always willing to fail. Don’t be afraid of making decisions; you can’t be paralysed with the fear of failure or you will never push yourself. You can push because you believe in yourself and your vision. You know it’s the right thing to do and success will come. Don’t be afraid to fail.

I mean, how many times have you heard, ‘you can’t do this, or you can’t do that because it’s never been done before.’ So pay no attention to the people who say it can never be done.

If I would have listened to the naysayers, I would still be in the Austrian Alps yodelling. I would never have come to America. I always listen to myself and say, “Yes.You.Can.” You never want to fail because you never worked hard enough. Work your butt off.

I always believed in leaving no stone unturned. No Pain, No Gain.

While you’re out there partying, horsing around, someone out there at the same time is working hard, someone out there is getting smarter, someone is winning — just remember that.

You can’t climb the ladder of success with the hands in the pockets.

– Arnold Schwarzenegger’s speech on bodybuilding.

By delving into his personal life experiences, that break the theme of bodybuilding, Schwarzenegger persuades the audience (Bodybuilders and aspiring athletes, regardless of age). Through personal example and commandeering sentences, we are left feeling as though we “Have to think outside the box.”
Talking about his personal experiences also allows us to realise that he is in fact a real human being who went through his own agenda of struggles. If he could overcome them, why can’t we?

Schwarzenegger also utilises repetition, when he’s telling the audience to not be afraid to fail. This not only drills the message into our minds, but adds intensity to the message each time it’s repeated, making it more purposeful. This speech has recently become a source of motivational fuel for me. Every word is laced with passion and intends on teaching the audience about intrinsic motivation and purpose.

Arnold reflects on how his life would have been if he had listened to the ‘naysayers’, something we can all relate to. By bringing the audience back to his currant position, where he’s on the brink of legendary success, we are slapped with inspiration and the message of his speech.


Random Rambles – Advertisement’s grip, and more.

  The media, paired with an alliance with advertisement agencies, seem to influence a majority of the population. To say these forces don’t have an effect on me, would be a lie. Without advertisements posing as buffers between tv-show scenes, how would I have known what counted as beautiful and what didn’t?

Advertisement is the non-consensual drug populations are being doped on, somehow leaving us crave whatever the product promises. This allows it to act as a catalyst to make infant businesses popular ones. The effect could be caused by the prevailing exposure we are surrounded by, be it a TV or mobile phone, that leaves us feeling as though we need to consume an ad’s promise in order to feel belonged to society. As social animals, human beings feel the need to belong. We feel the need to conform to what we see on the screen, fit to their definitions and assumptions and what we need and what we must be like. 

If only it were different, and we didn’t fall under the spell of baritone voices persuading us with descriptions of products or narrating movie trailers.

Every individual, myself included, are left feeling as though we don’t have everything we need. Things we want feel like things we need; things we absolutely require in order to survive. We become that dramatic about our craving for exchanging money for whatever is being sold.

If my online shopping-kart isn’t filled with Kylie Jenner’s lip kit, that seems to be everywhere, I will somehow feel constantly dissatisfied in the most subtle and annoying way.

When it comes to myself, i’ve noticed i’m often influenced by the popularity of a product, when I make the decision to buy something. That, and how I personally feel about the product and whether or not it would benefit me in any way, be it in an actual observable way, or it’s just something that makes me smile temporarily.

  The last time I bought something, I was at an Airport in Bangkok, with only twenty minutes to buy something, cause apparently we all had to buy something, and I felt the strongest urge to buy lipstick. Finally, with two minutes left, and no lipstick, I saw the same lipstick my brother’s girlfriend had let me borrow last summer, and I picked it up without the mind to even check the price. Of course, that impulse was fuelled by the fact that I really liked the product, but my sudden urge to buy lipstick is a mystery to me. Maybe it’s as simple as saying it’s ‘cause all the ‘cool kids’ are doing it. Flipping through magazines, pointing at the shade of lipstick a model is wearing, and claiming they somehow need to have it.

  But somehow, I still appreciate all the effects advertisements have on me. They leave crumbs to the gingerbread house that contains what I think will make me happy, and in the end, often does. The sources of my happiness don’t just reside in buying things, there are countless things that make me happy. Anything that’s scary, would be the first thing that pops into my mind. Scary TV-shows, movies, books, music, video games. And of course, where would I be without weightlifting, and having the pleasure of writing about it. I imagine both weightlifting and writing will be a part of my life ten or twenty years from now. Either as hobbies, or professions, paired with a life of studying some form of psychology (either abnormal or criminal), and being able to express myself on a stage, somehow. It all seems random, but it makes me feel like I have a lot to work towards, and that makes me happy. I have a career to work towards, people to hopefully have the pleasure to help, things to study in kinesiology and psychology, and places to travel and still remain semi-introverted in. That, paired with the determination to change the way people perceive feminism, but that’s a whole other discussion.

  This random assortment of thoughts leaves me feeling reminded of the things I am working towards, and passionate about. One thing I remain conflicted over, in terms of passion, and how this passion seems to mingle with pessimism, is how I feel about the way we treat the environment. Of course, I am concerned, but I genuinely feel like we’re all too late when it comes to reversing whatever could’ve been reverse.

Could have.

Anyway, more random rambles in a while. Till next time.

Decided Influences

I have a habit of constantly asking myself what I want to do after all this is over —

After i’ve graduated High-school, (hopefully) got into my dream College, after I remove the title of ‘school student’ from my mental description of myself. It started off with wanting to be a personal trainer, although that ambition isn’t dead, a lot more has been added to the list of ambitions and career choices. I want to be a certified fitness trainer, an online coach, a therapist and hopefully publish books on mental and physical health and wellness. I doubt the list will stop there.

I follow blogs based on my goals and ambitions, they tend to shape my perception of fitness and how holistic the definition can be.

The blogs I tend to rely on inform me about all aspects of health and fitness such as the different diets and forms of exercise individuals usually rely on in their quest to get healthy. 

From becoming attached and putting the opinions of my favourite bloggers on a pedestal, I’m easily susceptible to being influenced by them. The fact that the advice given by these bloggers differs from what is produced by the fitness industry (this advice is equipped with a materialistic motive, so it can’t be trusted) made me feel like their opinions could be trusted and implemented into my lifestyle.
By constantly familiarising myself with the once-trusted advice produced by the fitness industry, I can differentiate between what advice is trustworthy and what has to be completely avoided.

It’s the difference between genuinely helping a blank-faced client, and giving them advice that only benefits one party (the trainer who receives the money at the end of the day.)  This is what tells me which source I want to utilise and which i’d like to ignore, for the better. 

These blogs influence and inform me mainly because of the people behind them, and the information they decide to provide, regardless of financial returns.

Blogs (and their posts) such as: 



Till next time.


Square One of a Different Phase.

Where to begin?

I’m vegan now. I made a lifestyle choice to cut out all animal by-products from my diet two weeks ago, when I realised how crappy I felt eating so much dairy and meat. My skin felt greasy, my energy levels where non-existent, my mood swings were dangerous for the people around me (Haha, apologising to my best friends for what i’ve put them through). I grew accustomed to waking up with nausea, that never seemed to die down. I just didn’t feel good.

Living with poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, my body wasn’t appreciating the meat anymore and the hormones that came with it. 2 weeks into this lifestyle change, and I feel great. I got my energy back, I stopped snapping at people every minute and I just feel much better. For those of you who are wondering how i’m going to make muscle gains and hit PR’s on a diet that has been perceived as low in protein and ‘extreme’ by a majority, I will be fine. Protein is protein, and as long as I keep hitting my macros, I will still be inching towards my goals, regardless of where the protein is from (Hello, vegan protein powder). I’m still very inconsistent with my lifts and IIFYM, but i’m accepting that this is simply part of the process. What matters is, i’m never giving up on this. Lifting is and always will be an integral part of my life, and something I love more than anything else. I feel like I can start from scratch. With my lifts, my PR’s, my entire approach to health and fitness in general. Your passion doesn’t have to be moulded into a rigid routine that calls for complete discipline. But now, i’m determined to exceed where I left off with lifting and IIFYM.

Till next time.


Right Now? (An array of thoughts)

Right now, I have stopped my reverse diet. In fact, I wasn’t tracking macros (remember those?) for at least 3 months. Yesterday was my first day back on the tracking wagon.

Right now, I am focussing on my lifts, and just making sure I eat more than 220g of carbs, 40g of fat, 80g of protein and 1600 calories. As long as I am eating more than this, I know my muscles will be fuelled enough. I plan on doing a mini-bulk during Summer, followed by a cut. But, that’s a discussion for later.

Right now, I am focussed on my squats. They have been stuck at 28kg for longer than i’d like to admit, and I know exactly where consistency can take me. Consistent training has gotten me to where I am today, and has given me the physique I have today. I had to compromise this consistency for justifiable reasons (regarding my mental health and heavy school workload), but I can feel my eyes locked onto my goals now. Nothing is stopping me. I have been having very good lifts lately, so I thought I’d share how I got my determination back.

We often rely on just motivation to take us from one goal to another. But motivation is fickle, it will help you power through a workout one day, but when the flames die out, you are left feeling like avoiding the gym for at least a week. I’ve been there. Determination is what takes you from one day to the next. Sit down. Take a breath. Think about why you love doing what you do. Change your workout program, learn new lifts (the sky is the limit when it comes to lifts), set tiny goals every week so you know what to focus on. Trust the process and most importantly trust and respect yourself enough to know you will get to where you want to be.

But remember: it’s okay to pause your goals. I paused my goals for months till I was okay again, and I respect myself for making that decision. Life will get in the way, sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up for missing some workouts. That leaves you feeling at war with yourself, when in all honesty, you need to love and be friends with yourself if you want to make it. So, take it one step at a time. And never give up. Even if you’ve been taking a hiatus from working out for a while, trust yourself enough that you will get back.

Trust that your determination will take over your reliance on motivation.

Till next time.



I’m not a normal 17-year-old.

I don’t sleep in, cause I believe that’s a waste of time. Why dream, when you can physically work towards turning a product of your imagination into something your reality can bask in.

Sometimes, I wake up at 4 AM to fit in a workout. I don’t care if most of the population is asleep, and I don’t care if i’m still tired, I have goals to conquer and absolutely no time to waste.

Things get difficult sometimes. So tough, where i’m left overwhelmed and shaky. But everything I have been through has moulded me. Being fat, academically weak, someone who didn’t have a shred of self-respect. I’m proud of myself, the things i’ve accomplished and the things I know i’ll achieve. I respect myself to the core, and absolutely love myself now.

Find your inner strength. Find the mentality that allows you to pursue everything they thought you couldn’t achieve. I don’t care if you’re 17 or 70. I don’t care if you have an army of supporters or none. This is you. This is your life. You have one shot at this. So don’t conform to what the population thinks you should be doing.

When I was 14, I was minding my own business, lifting my 2kg dumbbells, not listening to the people who told me I was too young for this sport. That I would look buff, as if that’s a bad thing for a woman. Screen Shot 2016-04-12 at 9.09.07 am.png

3 years later, and i’m still not listening to anyone who thinks they can get in my way.

So, find your strength. Find your passion and take ownership of your goals.

Till next time.

The Sexualisation of Women in the Fitness Industry

The Fitness Industry. An Industry with holistic and passionate workers. People who stand on the foundation of health and wellness. This is an industry that looks out for the common population. “What are you eating?”, “When’s the last time you went to the gym?”, “Does your family have a history of heart-disease?”. These are the kinds of questions that pour out of the mouths of the industries ‘workers’. I grew up learning from anything and everything that the industry produced. Highly acclaimed magazines, websites with beautiful models advertising a weight-loss pill and even television shows that ‘want to help me lose those last pesky pounds’ was what I was exposed to. I was twelve. And I already knew what calories and crash-diets meant. As a fat child, I was constantly learning more and more of what the industry wanted me to learn and know. My idols were female fitness models, who told readers to stay away from bread and chocolate, and to do fifty sit-ups every day for ‘envious flat abs’.

   Women who both work for and receive products of the fitness industry are expected different things than what is expected of a man. Ladies working in the industry depict everything that society wants out of a woman’s appearance, in order to condition those who’re not apart of the industry to eventually want the same. Long, slim legs that forms a perfect gap when put together, a flat stomach, a tiny barbie-doll waist and prominent collar bones that have survived rounds of low-carb diets just to make an appearance. The industry raises women that do not strive for strength and athleticism, but those who want to fit society’s standard of what bodies look good in a swimsuit. What baffles me is the fact that women in the industry have been conditioned to train purely for aesthetic purposes. Nowhere in magazine covers or websites that specialise in women’s health and fitness (as if it is any different from Men’s health and fitness) do I read the lines ‘get strong’ or ‘improve your fitness and stamina!’. Instead I read the lines ‘Get slim’, ‘Get toned’ and ‘Get sexy this Summer!’ in bold red, in attempts to catch the attention of women who are new to the gymming atmosphere and buying salads instead of a hamburger.

I often make a mental comparison of a Men’s Health magazine cover to one produced by Women’s Health (these are two well-known fitness and health magazine companies). I flip through the glossy pages of Men’s Health, and appreciate everything i’m reading. Finally! A magazine that informs me about how to make my workouts more intense and efficient. One that will guide my in my conquest to get stronger and fitter. While flipping through the pages of Women’s Health I learn how to lose 20 pounds in 10 days. I learn how to make my body more appealing to the masculine eye. I learn how to completely avoid pasta and bread, till I can look at any food that fits into the bottom of a food pyramid and avoid it like the plague.  Nowhere do I see words in relevance to heavy weight-lifting. Female bodybuilding and weightlifting has been stigmatised to seem ‘de-feminising’, rather than empowering and a great way to get healthy. In fact, weightlifting has been male-specified, so it’s no wonder that the weight-room of a gym rarely has females in it.

  The words used on the covers of Women’s Health seemed so different to what was written on Men’s Health. This is when I realised; the goal of The Industry is to control how women view and care for themselves. By controlling these factors, they can lead women into believing over-exercising and starvation (disguised as ‘healthy diets’) are the ways to go about weight-loss and actually developing an athletic body that is healthy and able. Don’t worry though, at least men are better taken care of and equipped with information that will actually help them build a healthy body that could one day replace a machine.

   Let’s not forget to mention how women in the industry are masqueraded as symbols of sex. Thought-provoking poses and racy swimsuits are apparently a favourite in magazine covers. You rarely see a fitness expert flex her muscles when she’s displayed on social media. Instead you see her skin thick with oil, her hair let loose and her body bent into poses that reveal everything but her physical achievements! The industry sexualises women and disrespects them in regards to their health, but cleverly disguises this as something healthy, that will motivate you. Through the constant displays of sexualised ‘fitness experts’, women who are on the other side of the industry are automatically conditioned into thinking that fitness (for women) is only about looking beautiful and having men swoon over you. It isn’t about the actual blood, sweat and even more sweat that goes into the process of building a capable body. It’s about aiming to look exactly like the fitness model you saw on TV. Constantly sexualising fitness experts, strips them of the respect they worked hard to earn, and makes them seem like they shouldn’t be taken seriously. It strips them of everything they’re trying to represent, like being determined to get healthy and strong.

   The industry, like any other, has a lot to work on. The way it represents females needs to be completely changed, so that the female audience can get access to useful information that diverts from conditioning them into being insecure and overall poor in health. The sexualisation of women in the fitness industry, and the difference in what is expected and taught to a man and a woman in the industry is one of the main reasons why I am determined to change the foundation that the industry stands on.

Till next time.

Angry Workouts

The best PR’s and workouts are made when you’re absolutely down or furious about something. That’s the best time to lock everyone out, put in your earphones and just lift. Preferably do deadlifts, because anger calls for lifting an obnoxiously heavy barbell and then slamming it to the floor (don’t crack your floor though, your parents will get pissed)

I had a really good session on Wednesday. Here’s the breakdown.

Before I started my session, I did a tabata and ab warm up filled with jump squats, walking lunges, leg lifts, sit ups, high-knees and crescent stretches to ensure proper depth with my squats.

Movement/exercise Reps and Sets
Squat warm up sets 16kgx2x5
Working sets 25kgx6x3
28kgx6 (PR)
Cleans 30kg singles for 6 reps (PR)
Sumo and Conventional Deadlifts 50kgx5 (sumo pulls)
+60kgx3x2 (plates were 60kg, the barbell is either 5-6kg.) (PR)

This session was really important to me. It reminded me that no matter how down I felt, I could always rely on lifting to pick me back up. Remind me why i’m working so hard. Remind me of my ambition and my goals.

On another note:

I feel like i’m getting better with whatever was bringing me down in 2015. The anxiety and depression. You never really get rid of it, but you work with it, get stronger and learn how to cope with it. I’ve been taking things one at a time. Living life one day at a time. Journalling more, becoming more aware of my emotions. Meditating as often as I can. And most importantly, I stopped trying to control my emotions. You can never suppress or induce emotions. They can’t be stopped or started. So when you feel sad or angry, don’t suppress it or force it away. Let it happen. Breathe. Emotions demand to be felt, and they’re not there to upset you even more. They’re trying to tell you something.

So listen, and be kind to yourself. 



Let’s get buff?

I’ve been thinking.

I’ve been thinking about my current strength. As proud as I am for building everything I have now from nothing (the strength, the muscle, the physique, the mentality), I am still hungry for more. Which is why i’ve decided to stay on my reverse diet for a long time. Stay on this diet till I hit maintenance macros (290-300carbs/90protein/46 fat/1950calories). I plan on staying with my maintenance macros till I’m satisfied with the amount of muscle i’ve built and the PR’s i’ve hit. If I do cut this year (I might not), the lowest I plan on going is 220c/90p/42f/1700cals.

My cut in 2015 made me lose PR’s because my macros were too low for too long. So yes, this year is not going to be about abs at all. It’s not going to be about fitting into the ‘skinny girl’ norms (it’s never been about that) or being ‘bikini ready’. I just don’t care anymore. I want to build a whole new physique. Whole new level of strength. Turn my deadlift max into a warm up.

I am going slow with my new program. Focussing on my form and making sure i’m hitting all the right muscles. And taking it slow makes me feel like I can actually tackle PR’s that won’t slip away after two weeks this time.

Take it slow and let yourself grow.


We have the habit of starting a new year in the hopes that this time, it’ll be perfect. Absolutely flawless. Conquering your resolutions has never been so easy. You’re not going to shed a single tear this year.

But then reality cuts through the thick air of optimism you build around you. You go through really tough days. Things hurt. You cry. You feel defeated.

Maybe you should regroup your army. Prepare yourself for battles, know what you’re equipped with. Aim your sniper and don’t let reality defeat you this time. 

I’ve spent so many years hoping for a fresh start. But the only thing fresh about the next year is the Calendar you buy. Yes, there’s no denying it’s a new year. There are new opportunities  set out for those who are ready to work for them. Make sacrifices for them. But the happiness is never going to be handed to you. Fight, conquer, thrive.

We’re beasts. We’re not going to let reality get the better of us.

2016. It’s going to be a fresh page of the same story. And we’re writing our own happy ending.